TaleCatcher™ News

September 2003  

Bill Neugent's picture


News and entertainment
for readers, writers, and cybersecurity geeks
from TaleCatcher.com and Bill Neugent



  You've Got To Be Kidding
  Treasure Hunt Clue
  News Headlines
  Whining and Dining


Greetings,

There are small regions in the U.S. that do not observe Daylight Savings Time. When a man living in such a region invites you to his TV studio for a live interview, you’d think he’d tell you about the time thing. See News Headlines below for the rest of the story, along with my latest book promotion adventures. And speaking of headlines, last month reality mirrored the fiction of my novel as the Blaster worm and the blackout hit America. I issued a press release to capitalize on the opportunity.

The Naked in Cyberspace guy joined the gal. After all, if you’re going to exploit human nakedness to sell books, you’d be crazy to limit yourself to one gender. Taking that thought even further, keep watch on this space for the Naked in Cyberspace cat.

New to our web site is an old home movie clip in streaming video form of a teenage Bill disappearing into a car trunk. Read about our newest gimmickry below in News Headlines. By the way, if you’re curious how we do the dynamic parts of our web site, check out our Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ).

Bill Neugent
The Amazon top-500 author of No Outward Sign, a novel about a cyberterrorist attack on America.
Buy the book on: Amazon.com or read sample news coverage.

You've Got to Be Kiddng icon
 

You've Got To Be Kidding


A coworker received the following email note over the Internet. “Important notice. We have just charged your credit card for money laundry service in amount of $234.65 (because you are either child pornography webmaster or deal with dirty money, which require us to layndry them and then send to your checking account). If you feel this transaction was made by our mistake, please press ‘No’. If you confirm this transaction, please press ‘Yes’ and fill in the form below.” The form asked for your credit card number and expiration date.

Another coworker received a note from the same company (Fethard) with the subject line, “Money Laundry Solutions from Fethard.biz.” The note was forthright: “Are you in the business of child pornography and have difficulties with transferring money from one point to another? Are you tired of edless taxes? Are you tired of ‘antilaundring’ programs in your bank? Is your onlne business in shadow? Do you currently have in your possession illegally earned money and have difficulties placing it into your bank account? Open an account with Fethard Finance today and we guarantee to solve all your problems immediately!!!” Their features are listed, such as currency exchange. “Someone has transfered you US dollars instead of your beloved Nicaragua cordobas? You don't need to kill this person. Just make an exchange at our bank and let this person live.” The note invites visitors to http://www.fethard.biz and lists the company address, phone, and fax numbers in Montevideo, Uruguay, along with several names.

The Fethard web site itself features an announcement that these email notes have been “spoofed.” That is, the announcement says someone else made up the notes and forged the Fethard address. Apparently Fethard turned over information on some of its accounts to the authorities and that act might have ticked off some clientele. The bright side is that, although money launderers may not be able to spell too well, at least they appear to have a sense of humor.

You've Got To Be Kidding Archives

Treasure Hunt Clue icon
 

Treasure Hunt Clue


Here are the clues to date, with some elaboration:

  • “Harry Redman said, ‘I’ve started to write my age in a number that begins with seven, a number I’ve always considered lucky.’ Harry is an extremely clever man.” In other words, begin with seven.

  • “Good things come in threes.”

  • “This contest is as easy as one-two-three.”

  • “Etwas ist nicht in Ordnung.” Auf English, something’s wrong, or to be literal, something is not in order.

  • “The hidden message is not an anagram.”

Of these five clues, the fattest pitch is the fourth. Some of you have looked for subtle things, such as whether in Fairfax County the police cars have headlights that alternately flash on and off. Actually, some do. Look for something more obvious. Some big fat thing is not in order.

Okay, this is a huge clue. Don’t delay, because a lot of people are going to go to work on this and one is going to win $1,000. As always, remember that this is a game of skill and no purchase is necessary.

News Headlines icon
 

News Headlines


TV Interview. My new publicist (PJ Nunn, Breakthrough Promotions) got off to a great start by snaring my first TV interview, with FOX 28 WSJV in Elkhart, Indiana. See Live On Television! Despite a few screw-ups, I must have passed the test, because the TV people asked to interview me again in more depth. Unfortunately, that follow-on session was overtaken by other news events. My lessons learned from the experience are presumptuously packaged as A Dozen Rules For Successful TV Interviews.

The publicist also arranged four other media interviews, including a live radio interview on the Mike Morin Drive Time Show, WZID – FM, Manchester, NH. Afterwards, Mike Morin sent a nice note, “You were so interesting, we replayed the piece a few days later in a different hour. I'd like to put you in my Rolodex as an expert in this area for future events of this nature.” Okay, so maybe I’m not quite ready for prime-time TV, but if I reach that pinnacle, I’ll be better prepared. Now if only I could figure out how to use these interviews to sell books.

Mr. Speaker! Speaking engagements went berserk. My approach for each talk has been to:

  • Make each talk better than the last

  • Leverage each appearance to reach a higher level venue for the next

It’s worked. Two conferences I’d agreed to keynote called back to escalate my role to conference chair, i.e., emcee for the entire show. I accepted an offer to be the closing keynoter for a conference of over 2,000 attendees. Yikes. Another conference sent out thousands of brochures featuring my picture, using my presence to advertise their conference. Other lucrative bookings came in, almost entirely unsolicited, including sessions in Florida and Georgia and an invitation to speak at the exclusive World Future Society symposium. One surprise came when I emailed two professors at the University of Connecticut, telling them I would be in their area in November and offering to give a guest lecture. One responded within hours, accepting the offer and adding an invitation to speak at a conference. A particularly interesting offer came from VeriSign Corporation, asking me to keynote one of their seminars. In lieu of a speaker fee, I proposed that they purchase copies of my book for their 150 attendees. They agreed.

The trouble with this speaking success is that it leaves no time to work on my new novel. On the other hand, every speaking engagement is an at-bat, a chance to hit one out of the park and become better known. The best reaction I’ve ever gotten from an audience was after a singing performance at a holiday party. The In-Security Singers (Barbara Blaustein, Cathy McCollum, Dick Stewart, and I) had just finished a rousing if reckless parody of Charlie on the MTA, with new words aimed to vent work anxieties that many in the crowd were feeling. When we finished, the audience leaped to its feet with a roar, in a spontaneous standing ovation. An unforgettable experience. Now if I could only get that reaction from a speech. :-)

Naked Gimmickry. Shame be ye gone. Ye have no place in my marketing plan. The Naked in Cyberspace Gal (56 KB file) is now available on T-shirts (medium or large, $15.00). Her picture greeted us when I arrived with Jill, Bob, John, and Reneé Neugent for my talk at Indiana University South Bend (IUSB). It seems the organizer thought the Naked gal might pique interest. Maybe that’s why there was such a contingent from the University of Notre Dame. :-)

The gal has now been joined by the Naked in Cyberspace Guy (73 KB file), posed much like the thinker, surely thinking about what in the world he’s doing. For other gimmickry, check our gallery of promotional items and the streaming video of an old home movie clip.


Whining and Dining icon
 

Whining and Dining


Rant time. I had gained a pound from spending several days at a company offsite and so I went back on-diet. Paolo’s in Reston had a daily special of red snapper, one of my favorites. I ordered it and told the waiter I wanted just the fish and asparagus, not the creamy risotto and other stuff. The fish came covered with black chunks I thought at first to be mushrooms until I bit into one and found it to be an extremely sweet fig. The black sauce that smothered the snapper turned out to be a sugary sweet sauce. Well. When I’m on-diet, I don’t do sugar, and even off diet I keep it to a minimum. I scooped the figs into a mound, scraped off as much of the sweet sauce as I could, bit into the worst red snapper I’d ever tasted, and pulled two fish bones from my mouth. The grilled asparagus proved as bad as the fish. Paolo’s in Reston is not the place it once was, at least it isn't in August. Except of course for their sesame and poppy seed-encrusted bread sticks.

The problem is not that restaurants try to cover up their sins with sugar, although I believe that’s true. The problem is that for generations we’ve been slowly poisoned. Try to find a cereal that doesn’t have sugar as the number two ingredient. Look at almost any processed food and you’ll find sugar or one of its cousins high on the list of contents. Why should there be sugar in tomato sauce? Over the past few years, it’s become harder and harder in restaurants to find salads without dates, dried fruit, and sweetened salad dressing. Even the sauces served with meat and fish are sweetened, as is the bread. Among the worst offenders are the folks who make organic cereal, which is overloaded with honey, molasses, and fruit concentrate.

Don’t get me wrong, Americans love sugar-coating. Look at the people we vote into office. And now that our water contains fluoride, what’s the worse that can happen, a few extra pounds? A loss of taste for natural flavors? My perversity is that I resent those things being crammed down my throat. That’s why this is a rant. By the way, next time you order a salad of field greens, wave off the sweetened basil vinaigrette and ask for olive oil on the side. The server will probably question you in disbelief and give you one of those looks. When the oil comes, pour a good portion on your salad and try a few bites. For some of you, the flavor of the greens will come through with a freshness you haven’t experienced in some time. For others, the greens will taste lifeless, lacking in zip. If you’re in the latter group, you might be beyond help. Don’t worry about it. Just ask for a pack of Sweet ‘N Low, mix it with the oil, and enjoy.

 

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For half of August, reality emulated my novel. Spread the word. No, not by clicking on the Sobig.F attachment, but by recommending my talk: Cyberterrorism; We’re Toast. The talk gives the story behind the news, is informative and entertaining, and is in great demand. I’m at the point where I’m turning down a lot of bookings (two major conferences in the last week alone). Mandatory honoraria are coming, although I prefer organizers buy copies of the novel rather than give me a fee. Of course, if the organizers don’t buy books for the crowd, then I need to be able to sell and sign books after the talk. Think of this not as an ad, but as a public service announcement, since the novel raises awareness about our national vulnerability to cyberterrorism.

Enjoying this newsletter and wish there were more to read? Try the novel. It's like “Robert Ludlum writing about cyberspace,” according to John Lowry of BBN. Incidentally, hardcover copies are now available from Amazon.com and bn.com.

Buy No Outward Sign

 

Copyright Information


© 2003 Bill Neugent, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from this TaleCatcher™ News eZine in whole or in part, as long as you include the following attribution:

From Bill Neugent's TaleCatcher™ News eZine. Please visit his web site at http://www.talecatcher.com for more news, tips, and entertainment.

 

Final Notes


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