First Radio Appearance

“Are you sure you have no problem with being on Pacifica Radio?” the voice asked in a tone that hinted maybe Bill should.

“No, not at all,” Bill said in a voice he hoped sounded assured. He had never heard of Pacifica radio but couldn’t reveal that.

A colleague had recommended Bill to the station, which needed a cyberterrorism expert for an hour talk show. Another cybersecurity expert, Dave Perry, a renowned virus authority, also was to appear on the show as a guest. Dave Perry contacted Bill and dialed up the show’s host, Joe King, and the two engaged Bill in guy-banter on the subject of cyberterrorism and Bill’s novel. Bill realized this was an interview. The talk flowed well, although Bill had never considered talk-show banter to be his forte. When the conversation ended, Bill did not know whether he’d passed or failed, only that they promised to call him at show time.

Bill Googled the station and the show. WBAI New York opposed war. Bill could live with that. The show was Joe King’s weekly PC Radio Show, three-time winner of the prestigious national Computer Press Award. Bill could live with that, too.

When the time came, Bill sat in a hotel room in Huntsville, Alabama, surrounded by notes of quips and crisp responses to possible questions. Jill listened in via streaming RealAudio from Virginia. Five minutes before the hour. Four. Three. No call. Bill decided he’d failed the interview.

At one minute before the hour, Bill’s cell phone rang. "Hold for WBAI," the caller said and disappeared.

Not the cell phone. Bill had given them the hotel number, so they could have higher signal quality. Bill heard commercials over the phone and then a beep. Low battery power on the cell phone. Oh, no. His cell guzzled power when it roamed.

He scuttled to retrieve the charger and plugged it in with a beep as the show started.

Joe King proved an adept host, with a mellow radio voice. In addition to Bill and Dave Perry as featured guests were co-host Hank Kee and webmaster Michael Horowitz. The first half hour went well, with Joe putting in several spectacular plugs for Bill’s novel. He even read one of the novel’s glowing five-star reviews from amazon.com. Thank you, Joe.

Then the phone banks were opened and lit up with callers.

“This [war] is the last desperate attempt of white male neoconservatives to gain control of the world,” said Jason from Manhattan.

Bill had no response and wondered if the caller realized the show was about cyberterrorism.

“He’s tryin to free doze peeple ovah deh,” countered another.

“Terrorists shot down the shuttle,” said Gwen from East Harlem. After all, the shuttle “fell on Palestine, Texas. Could that be coincidence?”

Bill had no pithy retorts prepared for these observations and listened as Joe King said, “Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and now we have the next caller…”

When the show ended, Bill exhaled a colossal sigh and called Jill back home in Virginia. “How am I doing on Amazon?” he asked, hoping for a blizzard of sales. This was, after all, radio.

“No change,” Jill replied.

Nor did sales change over the next day and the next. Not a blip. As if the show had never happened.

But that didn’t matter. A new marketing pitch had danced into Bill’s mind with magic words—“featured on radio.”

See Web coverage of the show.

Updated: 19-Oct-2005